Inner Sanctum

Hey Blog

its been a while. Laziness and the lack of anything interesting has kept us apart for a while, but following matthews beautiful blog about humility, i have once again found it within myself to blog

Ever seen one of those adverts where the punchline is: unless you get *insert product/service here* you will not be cool enough, attractive enough etc etc.

We recently i've been feeling that in many areas of my life i dont measure up and to be quite honest i was put down. In everything i seemed to do or have someone did it or had something better than me. At a point it was becoming really bad primarily because i was really negative with myself and secondly i started buying into the consumeristic bullshit that unless i have a car which is the best or a laptop that can run nasa i wasnt any good (these are just two examples but the list goes on and on)

The funny thing was that this wasnt only an attitude within me alone or found only in people who havent accepted Jesus as their Lord and saviour but also in christians. Im not pointing fingers i've been on both sides of the story many times.But it struck me, even here with my christian brothers and sisters, in a very subtle manner I could feel the silent tug of unworthiness because i didnt have this or that or i wasnt this or that. I was appalled and very angry and and and......hurt. At first the hurt was a very self centred one, they judge me, they dont accept me as i am .....theyre horrible people. But now it has moved on, the hurt i feel isnt for me anymore but its for the suffering this bondage is putting on those that i know and love (and God knows on how many others)

The truth is there will always be a reason not to accept yourself. It can range from a particularly pesky sin to not having the ultimate brand or the ultimate toy thats in vogue. This is the devils ploy, once our self worth is tied to the attainment of an objective, we become exactly like those cartoonish donkeys which would have a carrot stuck in front of their eyes and will walk miles trying to reach that carrot but it always keeps eluding us.

But Andrew i hear you say I am fat/unattractive/poor/talentless/shy/unpopular/unloved/uncared for/unnoticed/abused/unloved. Why in the heavens should i love myself? Believe me people i've asked God and myself this question countless times. The answer will never change and its summed up in two words. The Cross.

If Jesus the son of God, the high priest, blameless and obedient till death, chose willingly to give His life for YOU (and me) when we were still sinners (as St Paul says) then we are worth something. Jesus didnt die for us because i'm intelligent or i can play the guitar well, or im the sexiest person ever. Jesus died for us because He saw in us something. God the father showed this great mercy because He knew that despite our sins, despite our inability to ever reach the perfect standards that God has set out for us, there was something beautiful, there was something good, there was something that was trademark registered to God.This is what gives us worth. What we do is dust and ashes, the real worth is who we are, who God created.We are worth it because God loves us, even when we are in an abyss of shame,guilt and fear or sin we can never shake off Gods love for us because He loves for what we are, His creation. Nothing we do will ever change that from the most inept person to the greatest genius, in front of God all cower down and nothing of those HUMAN categories remain, all that remains is what God put in us, and my friends it is not junk.

so please please stop believing that youll be good enough when you get the next item, learn the next skill, stop the next sin. YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH BECAUSE GOD MADE YOU THAT WAY, JUST BE WHO YOU ARE AND DIVE INTO GOD'S NEVER ENDING lOVE. DRINK DEEPLY MY FRIENDS FOR HE IS GOOD